February 2014

A’dell reminded me yesterday that I haven’t posted (or tweeted) in forever…

Better do this by bullets:

  • Everyone has been sick, sick, sick.  One at a time mostly.  Since November.  Today, I think everyone is well.  Finally.  Maybe? Fingers crossed.
  • I am 15 weeks pregnant today.  No, we didn’t have assistance.  No, we didn’t plan this.  Yes, we are freaking ecstatic.
  • Moose is still doing OT twice a week.  He is also in speech now twice a week.  He is really starting to pick up words (when he wants to).  I think he is cutting his molars because he has been MOODY but he won’t let me feel back there to find out if that is what is going on.
  • Katherine is still doing martial arts twice a week and dance one day a week.
  • Both are in preschool three days a week which is great for all of us.  They love it, I love it, we love to see each other at pick up.
  • We need a bigger house now.  Not in the budget though because BigP finally got a car this past summer…
  • Before I found out about the baby, I signed up for a half marathon.  I am still training for it and as of right now my doctor loves that I’m running still.  I use the term “running” very loosely.  If he says I can’t continue at some point, then I won’t.  But I really like having this goal to keep me on track.
  • Katherine is currently thoroughly disgusted with me.  She went to my doctor appointment on Tuesday and I thought I had prepared her for everything.  I had not.  She is disgusted that not only did I pee in a cup but I gave it to someone!!  She will never look at me the same again.
  • Katherine got to see the baby on an ultrasound at the appointment so she is very excited.  She is desperately praying for a sister.  She loves her brother but really wants a girl this time.  
  • My parents are moving here this year.  My Dad is retiring.  I’m so excited that they will be here instead of 14 hours away.  They bought a house and it is finally starting to feel real that they will be here!  Now I just have to convince my Grandmother to move…
  • Everyday something happens that I want to blog about so I can record it for myself so I am going to try to get better about posting for myself.

Neurologist Appt

The appointment went well.  BigP and I went into the appointment with the hopes that one of three things would happen:  1- keep doing what we are doing (OT),  2- he would send us to another specialist,  3- he would run a different test.  Fortunately, the doctor picked option 1.  We keep doing what we are doing.

Unfortunately, with our diagnosis of damage to the brachial plexus (nerves running through the neck) there is nothing that can be done.  Either the nerves will repair somewhat over time or they won’t.  Therapy may help as the healing happens but there is no guarantee.

The test to confirm this diagnosis is very invasive and none of us wanted to put Moose through it.  It is the exact thing that the therapist had expected was wrong.

The good news is that it isn’t extreme. Moose can walk and use his arm and hand.  It may not be EXACTLY like everyone else but he does a good job.  Unless you see him running around and playing, you may not even notice it.

We see his pediatrician later this month, and he will keep an eye on it .


When I was going through fertility treatments I kept thinking how happy I would be when I wasn’t always waiting on something.  I am now reminded how much waiting sucks.

Our appointment with the Neuro isn’t until the 13th of August.  I finally called and spoke to the neurologist on call one weekend.  She was upset that the nurse here had been so vague with me.  She went over the MRI images and radiologist’s notes with me over the phone.

The bleed is old, and tiny.  Their MRI machine is so sensitive that it picks up even the smallest amount of blood that hasn’t reabsorbed.  It can take years to absorb some times, so it isn’t a worry.  Since the bleed was on the left side of the body it isn’t the cause of his issues on his left side (the left side of the brain controls the right side of the body…)

I am keeping my appointment on the 13th even though they may not be able to tell me much.  I don’t know how old the bleed is (not sure if they will know), not that it matters but I am curious.  Was it during gestation, during birth, since he was born?

My hope is that maybe the neurologist can steer me in the direction I need to be in to get answers.  A different specialist?  A different test?

In the meantime we are still doing OT twice a week.

We are staying busy.  K is in a summer program at her preschool two days a week.  We have a music class one morning.  K has martial arts twice a week.  OT twice a week. Church activities.

August 20th starts the fall program at the preschool and both kids are enrolled.  I am excited to get some “me” time but I am also sad about dropping both kids off for such a long period of time three days a week.

Maybe then I can post more often…


I had almost decided to close up shop, I never get over to my computer to blog any more.  I’m too busy living life right now.  Which is good because it means I’m present in the moment.  It also is bad because next month I won’t remember what we were doing this month.

On June 24th (one week ago) Moose had an MRI.  He had his last bottle at 4 am and could have water and apple juice until 11am.  Between 9-11 am he could only have a total of eight ounces.  After 11, nada – zilch – nothing.  My boy likes to eat.  I knew this would be a major issue.


As you can see, he handled it much better than expected.  Although they didn’t take him back for the MRI until almost 4 pm.

I really felt God all day.  He took care of things.  I was anxious about giving Moose the gas and it turned out I didn’t have to.  He wouldn’t take it from me so I left the room while he was still smiling.

The procedure went really well.

The recovery rooms filled up before he was out so they decided to move him upstairs to another recovery room.  I was sent on up to the waiting room to wait for him.  They told me how to get there but not the name of the waiting room.  Turns out I was being sent to the waiting room for parents whose children are in surgery having amputations.  If that isn’t God giving me perspective on a silver platter, I don’t know what is.

Moose was sick in the car on the way home.  Then had diarrhea for days while the anesthesia worked out of his system.  Now he is cutting another tooth so it has been a rough week.  Not much sleep.

Thursday we found out that Moose has a bleed on the left side of his brain and we are being sent to a neurologist at Children’s Hospital here in Little Rock (where he had the MRI).  So, we wait.  And we snuggle.

And we don’t care that he isn’t sleeping much, I’ve held him.  I’ve been reminding myself to be thankful.  We have many, many things to be thankful for.  We have also cried.  Moose can’t tell us if he is pain or it is just his tooth.  Is in an old injury?  If so, how?  Is it new? Does it hurt? We have many questions. Primarily what will the course of action, if any, be?

Anyways, we can use good thoughts, vibes, prayers, etc.  So, if anyone is reading this and can send any our way, we are grateful. Thank you.

May 11, 2013

In nine days Moose will be a year old.  I can not even fathom where this year went.  It has flown by so fast!

I keep telling people that with Katherine I kept wanting to experience the next thing.  I wanted to see her meet her milestones and learn new things.  I was so worried she would be behind.  I didn’t realize exactly how much each child does things at their own time and that each child is perfect. 

With Moose, I just keep wanting time to stand still.  To enjoy each moment, keep him a baby.  Time is flying.  He is cruising around the house.  Standing without holding on to anything.  He will be walking soon.  I’m not ready.  I want him to stay a baby.

We aren’t sure if we will have any more children.  We absolutely will not be pursuing treatments.  So, I need him to stay a baby for at least another year to make sure I get my baby fill.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like he is going to humor me on that one.

He is still in therapy and making great strides.  There are some things that he isn’t improving on.  His therapist wanted me to get a referral to a specialist but his pediatrician doesn’t think that is necessary yet.  The pediatrician did a bunch of x-rays of his back and neck and they looked good.  Now we are waiting to hear from the Children’s Hospital so we can go for a MRI to see what is going on and why things aren’t progressing.

I keep praying we will get a definitive answer.

Katherine is 4.5 and she is wonderful.  She is imaginative and out going.  She keeps me smiling with her personality.

Crying.  Time for me to go…

Grandpa Lock

This past weekend I took the kids and flew to Virginia. My grandfather was being brought home on hospice.  The cancer had spread beyond hope.

I was able to help take care of him.  I was able to teach my mother and grandmother how to give his insulin injections in his stomach.  One thing infertility taught me, injections.

Today is my grandparents’ 68th wedding anniversary.

This morning Grandpa went to be with the Lord.

Grandma says it is fitting that they started their life together today and today they end their time together.

I already had my tickets to fly back tomorrow and I was going to see them.  I really thought I would get to see him one more time.  It is better that he is out of pain and my grandmother was killing herself taking care of him.  I just can’t imagine losing your partner of 68 years.  She could use your good thoughts.

Too Much

I haven’t posted since November, it is almost February.

It seems I always have too much to do.  Not enough time.

I have too much to write, not enough time.

I mean, where do I even start?  Christmas. New Year’s. Milestones. News.

Short and sweet is probably the more sure fire way to get to publish a post.

BigP and K are awesome. BigP works. K is going to school, church activities, and doing tap and ballet – which she LOVES.  She is so cute in her leotard and skirts.

I am a hormonal wreck. I have been working on weaning Moose. It is nice to have my body back.  Yesterday I put on my first non nursing bra since the end of 2011!!  It was luxurious to have a bra with padded straps.

Moose is doing awesome.  He is still doing physical therapy twice a week.  He is about 60% delayed.  He has been evaluated and as soon as all the red tape is through he will start occupational therapy twice a week.  He is about 35% delayed.  Those numbers sound bad to me but most people don’t even realize he is “behind”.   It is hard for me to comprehend because I just see him growing and changing and meeting challenges.  He is showing so much improvement that it is weird to think of him as still having so far to go.  He is amazing.  He is happy and loving and wonderful.

He loves to eat.  He would only take a bottle from me until yesterday when he started taking them from BigP too.  He won’t take them from anyone else.  He loves to feed himself now that he can, Cheerios are a big hit as well as those Gerber puffs. 

I can’t believe he is eight months old.  Time sure has flown.

And, now he is awake from his nap.


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